Thoughtful Testimony

Finally! 

(5 min read)

It was MY day in 2nd grade, at 8 years of age, the day a word (specifically, an adjective) the class or teacher chose for me would be forever etched into my memory.

Note: Hey, ruling at age 8 is amazing, just ask King Josiah! He became King of Judah at age 8 and reigned for 31 years. So hey, if you are 8 and reading this, I am NOT by any means looking down on you. Keep reading, KING and QUEEN!

I had been looking forward to this day for the whole school year!

I wanted to know what other people thought about me! We'll talk about this subject more later.

When it comes to me, I seemed as though to be the last one chosen for everything.

FLASHBACK

For example, even in Kindergarten, I waited to take attendance to the office in a similar fashion: anxiously.Of course, the only reason I wanted to take attendance down to the office was so I could choose my Kindergarten crush, Adam, to go with me. I was excited to be chosen so I could choose Adam. What boldness! 

Back to 2nd grade...

The day I was chosen, again. I don't remember the EXACT details of the project, but I knew that I was going to have the best day of my life. Let's just say the project was the equivalent to an "About Me" page.

So, it went something like this: the students voted on a particular word for me and I was rendered with this word...

thoughtful.

I got this word in 2nd grade, and was so excited! My fellow peers and teacher had something actually nice to say about me. At this young age, was I already dealing with insecurites of what other people thought of me? Yes. Let's chat about this later, I said! ;)

I became thoughtful that day - even in my high school yearbook (10 years later) I was tagged under 'be thoughtful' when explaining a senior class t-shirt to Senior Class Cabinet. [see subheading: be original] But hey, check it out! Guess what God thinks of me?

See:

For I know the thoughts I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, not of evil, to give you an expected end. (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV)

One day, at McLennan Community College during Anatomy class in 2012, I heard the Lord say, simply:

"You think about the ones you love"

Boy, Jesus was telling me something. That He has been thinking about me. And oh, does He love me. 

How precious are your thoughts towards me, O Lord. How vast the sum of them! If I were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand on the seashore. And when I awake, I am still with you. 

Psalm 139:17-18

This word from the Lord triggered another memory that I had on the bus home from elementary school:

'I wish I had something to think about'

Reversing this, now, I have someone to think about and I always thank God for the people in my life, especially His Son, Jesus. I also have these things to think about: 

Philippians 4:8 (NASB)

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Finally, I want to conclude this blog post with this, my testimony. When I was 16, I got in a car with one of my best friends, Brooke. I was drunk and blacked out, and the only thing I remember is opening up the car door and crying, "I just don't know what my dad thinks about me."  My friend turned around in the car and screamed, "What the F*** are you doing, Amy? Shut the door!" So, my other friend in the backseat reaches over and slams the door, and I go back into my blackout world. 

Then, the next day, I decided to pick up this invitation my friend, Stephen, gave me in Sociology class. Little did I know the real reason the guy next to me dropped the class! 

This class was the only class that did not get switched around in my schedule because the guidance counselor, Mrs. Bowman, had to deal with a couple indicidents from the last semester to get me back on track for graduating on time. I was going through all this as a sophomore! 

So, Stephen gave me a little invitation that said: 'BIG.' I had a big ego, so I proceeded to put it on the nametag part of my backpack. 

So, I went to church that day. And it was amazing. Pastor Nathan Grubb was speaking about Kurt Cobain from Nirvana and suicide, and I realized that could have been me. I gave my life to Jesus that night all over again, and my brother got saved as well. Let me tell you it was challenging enough getting into the buidling.

I pray that as you seek his face - he becomes your One and Only. And as we grow as people who know what he thinks of us, may all other thoughts from the world, flesh, and sin disappear in the light of the cross.

He's saying right now, church, you are the ones that I love.