And she will sing her song..even if no one else is listening

Sometimes I feel  like the meanest person ever. Today..was one of those days. I  just wish that I could  represent Christ in a better manner. It's not  about  how great my spirituality is, or anything. I just would like to get a glimpse of  what the Father was doing. In Austin's analogy, he says sometimes Christians get into an on/off  modes of ministry. I felt like my  light was off today. I didn't  feel like I  had the living  Spirit of God. I walked around defeated in  my  discernment of  the atmosphere around me. I guess today was a day  I learned the verse of: If the world  hated you, it hated me first. ||John 15:18|| I'm ready to see John 15 take over my quiet time. Because I'm about to receive exceedingly great revelations, so God I'm asking for the thorn in my flesh to keep me humble.

Thank you Jesus.

...those he Justified, he also Glorified

 ⁴⁰ Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, ⁴¹ “What do you want me to do for you?”
   “Lord, I want to see,” he replied.
 ⁴² Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” ⁴³ Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

Our question as Christians should be What do you want me to do for you? This will lead to the answer of the person wanting vision. Vision spiritually and physically. Funny how the man gets his vision with faith, being sure of something that's unseen. God was glorified through this, and people followed Jesus.
Goes back to Lazarus when he said to Martha, "Didn't I tell you if you'd believe, you'd see the glory of God."
God has goodness for you because he loves you. So, walk in love, loving one another, and freely giving to one another.

Never put coffee grounds in cookies!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
Take this as your warning... it gives a whole other meaning to "bittersweet."
Absolutely deodorized the sweetness. AH! Biggest mistake of " خبيس  " ever!
LOL. that's all.

answer the call

i am so blessed to have jesus telling me what to do... i need to heed his voice more for sure, and obey more. but God is totally the alpha and omega of my life. that's it! he is SOOOO faithful to answer prayers, and even if we pray because we don't see fruit in our lives... at least we're praying for fruit! God, I thank you that you're teaching my hands to war. God, you are good. I'm glad you go before me in war! We know that you are victorious, Jesus. Thank you to my brother and sister in Christ Kevin and Amara~!

We will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the WORD of our testimony

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO! I am so blessed to be able to minister to amazing women of God. They're so awesome. My prayer is this that NOTHING shall come against them and stand. Because we're the ones that are supposed be standing after the battle is through. I am thankful for everyone in the college group. I feel like things are shifting big time. And it's for God's good and kingdom increase. God has opened up a new realm of himself in reviving us and freeing us. There has been walls broken down of fear, hate, self-doubt, etc. God has opened up new identities in us, since the old person is gone in us. I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me, the life I live in the body, I live by FAITH in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

day two: modification yes.

So, I'm modifying God's fast for me. I'm going to do sun up to sun down. So, I'll probably have a meal around 7pm. Most importantly, I want to find an ideal time to pray and really seek the face of the Lord. I just want him to hide me under his wing. I'm so very excited about this new vision. I am going under the vision of my church, ACTS Christian Fellowship. We have four core values: discipleship, evangelism, quiet time, and the table. This can all be found (with revelation and illumination) in our biblical mission verse: Acts 2:42. So I am very excited. The LORD has been so good to me and my family. I know he is already in the process of loving on them and drawing them closer to Him. I'm excited to see where this fast is going. Lord, I commit it unto you. Please don't let me strive for grace or abuse your grace. Let me be in the middle of your grace. Do not cast me away from your presence. Do not take your holy spirit from me! I am so excittteeeddd, cause  I KNOW it's only up from here!!! It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out... I WAnt to be like a king!!

So, so, so... we meet again.

So, to update this blog with 4 and 1/2 months of missing work would be mad. So, I will highlight the main events: my dad got a disease called MDS and myelofibrosis over the summer. That was pretty tough on the family, but it brought us closer together. In the midst of him getting out of the hospital, after being there for two weeks, we moved to a new house. So, that was also crazy. I stayed home and helped out with working the business some days and cleaning out the old house, while my dad started a relentless cycle of chemo and blood transfusions. Luckily, we found out last month that my uncle fit the HLA criteria for a bone marrow transfusion for my dad. It has been tough going back to college 1,000 miles away and living everything behind. Mind you, I really did think there was a stronger chance I would change down here. Don't get me wrong, I've met AMAZING friends and community, but I don't feel like I'm conquering life, I feel like I'm getting conquered by life. I've told Jesus many times that I don't feel like I have life and life to the fullest. I don't have perfect joy and peace, but I really desire it. Jesus has told me many things to do here on campus, like healing a professor that can't walk. But, of course, I have yet to obey. I found out this month that I'm moving into a new apartment in January with two of my close friends that I met last year. I can't stand it anymore in this place.
Side Note: ya, this place was found 2 weeks before I had to move-in//i went potluck on all three room mates, and it has just ended in a horrendous, bitter situation
Of course, you know the daily grind of life will wear me down. Therefore, I'm only taking 12 hours this semester. I'm also changing my major from Biochemistry to Environmental Health Science to incorporate a public health aspect into my pre-med studies. Also, I know I'm way more interested in that than anything else. I have a minor in Arabic and Religion. So, hopefully I can continually pursue that. I have to take 18 hours next semester. In the summer, I'll probably take Bio Stats and English.
I haven't been having quiet times for the past 2 weeks. Funny how time flies. Maybe that's why I'm writing this blog right now: to completely and utterly avoid having my quiet time. No, I'm not afraid of getting punished by God for not praying, but like I told Jesus I want the words I write and the prayers I pray line up with his will, word, and promises. I want perfect love to cast out all fear in me. I want to walk in my calling here and now. I pray that revival happens on campus, and people are just walking in Isaiah 4.
What else can I say?
I went to two weddings this October. My cousin's wedding and my friends here at the college ministry, REFUGE. The wedding were both beautiful, but very different. Mostly, because one had more money. Come on, please.. we are in college, what do you expect? =P
Speaking of weddings... I'M GETTING MARRIED!

haha joke, but i really wish.



ahhhh....there you see, my friends is time to escape writing this blog, and start seeking God, because I'm starting to feel that tug and that passion coming back into my heart. love love love.

A little something

Well, quite a remarkable way I've come. Thank you, Jesus! I want to be an example as you were an example, God. I want to move as you have moved God. Lord, you are the maker, mover, and story breaker. I want my story to break front page news. I want you to be the headline of my story, God, let my ministry be your ministry. Let us be one. Let the light of your glory infiltrate my life... listen to the cry of my heart... as I begin to find what your heart cries for....

Missions Trip to LA

http://antihumantraffickingla.blogspot.com

Finger of God (Film) part 10 of 10

Poetry of Mine

Discrete lies pretending to

Masquerade as the way the ocean lies:

Salty and sweet, but with the intent

To take you deeper into [[[[[monotonous]]]]]

Shame.

We act as if moments in time will

Wrap our heads around these small

Momentary afflictions of comfort

To know we can promise something;

As lies pour out of my mouth:

Salty and sweet

Tragic.

Ending to a girl that has yet to speak.

A poem for every girl that has felt ashamed to speak because of the powers of materialism and darkness that has taken her innocence//

My ministry is birthed through my healing

God just healed my eyes!!! I've always wanted to be an ophthalmologist that healed peoples' eyes. My prescription was +2.75, but the Lord just told me to take out my contacts, and I will see. So, I did, and he healed me!!!! Thank you Jesus!! God that your bigger than any disease! Love you, Jesus. He told me to donate my glasses, and throw away my contacts!!

Even Now... Here's my Heart, God

So, I must admit it's quite frustrating to see that peoples' joy and contentment comes from external appearance. Honestly, I was the same way, and probably am still the same way. Doesn't mean it's not annoying. I just pray the eyes of my heart are enlightened to see God's work in the hearts of man. Honestly, it's been an issue on my heart, lately. I remember thinking I never wanna weigh as much as her, etc. But, I realize it's not about that. It's about making you fear God, knowing that he's bigger than anything your mind thinks. Self-confidence issues are HUGE in women in the church, but I know confidence only comes in knowing your identity in Christ Jesus. God wants to close any door of insecurity.

Running so Fast, yet trouble ahead.

So when you see danger, you usually run the opposite direction. Hm, when my brother saw that his shoes were getting ruined in the mud, he kept walking on the mud. When I was walking to classes, I always wanted to take the shortcut at Minglewood Bowl. My perception of the grass being wet was always wrong, but I always would take the chance. So, when I went in haste, it ended in waste. Wasted time worrying about the shoes I just ruined. So you think you're saving time by taking the hasty shortcut, but the Lord wants us to be patient, as he was with us. The only way shortcut we must take is to get out of temptations!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how MUCH God hears us. Does he hear the prayer of the sinner? He must have when I cried out to him, and suddenly my life changed for Him. What about the sinner who doesn't have much money, love, or time. Isn't God sovereign enough to save even the worshipers of Ba'al when cry out to their god. I think he might point them to John 14:6. If other people can't tell that Christians bring light into this dark world, then what is the point to be a Christian. There is none: we must share and give the light Jesus instilled in us. He filled us up with his light, so that we may shine for the world to see. Christians are called out to go into the world and make disciples, SHARING the good news. Church is a great way to cultivate your growth in grace and love. You learn to minister to people who you never thought you could help, but through the Holy Spirit, anything is possible. So run the race, knowing that the Holy Spirit is  your guide, but don't run with haste, otherwise you'll waste time.  There is new hope in Christ, hope to start over again. That a new day only begins with Christ. My prayer is this that you might attain the fullness of Christ himself, and that the false movement of Christianity will be sufficed by the true revival of God's Spirit on Earth. So God, Let your kingdom come, Lord.

"Lockstep" - Will Reagan and the United Pursuit Band, live at the Square...