The War for Your Soul

Wow, just amazing how warfare can manifest itself into daily decisions. I am glad that I made a decision for myself today. I made the decision to stay. No one made it for me, including my emotions. But it's quite funny because when I wanted to go home, the people at home told me I can come home. All of a sudden I didn't want to. When the people at Baylor, THANK YOU BLAKE BURELSON, said I can withdraw, I suddenly wanted to. Just weird.

This is crazy. Life is crazy. Struggles are joyful. God is great.

losing my life daily

Then die today to all your own ways and means of saving yourself and commit the keeping of your life wholly to God’s care. He’s your good, loving Shepherd—and he is faithful to see you through all!

Fix your eyes on Jesus. He alone is our hope//from: GET INTO THE ARK

Abidence=Obedience

If we want to abide in Jesus, we must obey him. We can't have one without the other. We can't gain life if we stay where we are at, whether it be in our sin or in our mindsets of disbelief. Trusting in him means nothing is impossible for Him to accomplish what he has promised you. Better said than done. Also, we can't do  anything without abiding or obeying in Him.

Publish Post

a poem my 7 year old sister wrote to my dad

When I love you, you are gone. You are a lovable man. I love you when you are gone. 

insecurity lies where complacency hides

Inside my mind, I hear many cries.

One cry for justice.

One cry for the future.

One cry for my dad.

But, inside my soul I hear one cry.

For his presence. God's perfect love to...

ENWRAP, ENGULF, ENGAGE

________________________________

For counselors of peace there is a future.

I don't want pride to steal my future. 

I don't want lies to steal my future.

_________________________________

I am looking forward to this new, but crazy turn in my life.

And I know God will take care of me; he loves it.

Words

(steal can be replaced with destroy or kill)

(pride and lies can be replaced with sin, satan)

Behold the Man

John 19 ⁷ The Jewish leaders insisted, “We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God.”

The Bible is truly the greatest story ever written; it's great with English majors. So, here you can see that according to the Jewish law men had to die for blasphemy of God. We're under a new law; love. So if you want to claim yourself as a Son of God, as a daughter of the King, as a royal priesthood, as a holy nation, as a Christian.... you must die. Yes, die. But not physically, spiritually. Die to yourself and live under the new law, not the Jewish law. 

We have a new law. Because we claim to be Christians, according to the spirit, we must die to ourselves. This means we follow the spirit to grow in love. (2 Cor 5:17)

taste and see that the Lord is good

هو البابا للغير معروف.

My God will carry me just as a father carries His child. Even though this is a the end of a chapter in my life, it's the beginning of a new chapter. I'm excited to see what the Lord has planned for my family. Let us draw near to the Lord, not ask why the Lord did this to me..... took my dad away from me.WE WILL OVERCOME... let this be a testimony to everyone about jesus..

Living Room Worship with United Pursuit Band - Oct. 6th

Indecency...Speak to Me!

If I say to God, this is indecency... you have to speak to me....you have to tell me something fresh, new. I go back to his promises that never fail; I look up to the hills, where does my help come from it comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth. So, my spring break was pretty terrible. The thing about it is: I didn't do much, but procrastinate. The Lord said it's wise to count your days. I feel so convicted lately of just everything. But, I know God loves me too much to keep me broken. All I know, is that I need to keep pressing on, and not to quit on him. I always wondered if I was to fall away from the Lord, what would happen to me? I don't really want to think about that, because I never want to fall away from the Lord. He's just been way to good to me. I've been trying to become an atmosphere changer, but realized to be an atmosphere changer, I must be changed. I am. I know, because I don't like the same things I used to.

It's been a really tough college career. I'm not sure if this will ever end. As I look up at the blog I wrote, it's a bunch of I's...then I realize again, that it's not about me. It's not about him speaking to me, cause he already has spoken. Now, it's time for me to speak to other people, and share life with them...life and life abundantly. Now, that is decency.

Do you have the decency to share Christ with someone today?

Power of Believing in Yourself

So, even though other people believe in you and  encourage you,  does this matter? The answer is yes. My predicament comes down to this: many people have said I have great scholarship.  Do I believe this? Well, I used to struggle with it. But it  comes down to if you really want something. I do really  want this and not for bragging at all.  ::this as in becoming a doctor/inventor/missionary:: So, how? How do I do this daily and not get burnt out? The motivation will fade, the encouragement will fade, but the love for the process is what will stay. So, I am ready for a  new semester. This is a big deal. I'm ready for a big  deal in  my life. Becoming. Emerging. Here I am, LORD, help me hear your voice and walk in it.

And she will sing her song..even if no one else is listening

Sometimes I feel  like the meanest person ever. Today..was one of those days. I  just wish that I could  represent Christ in a better manner. It's not  about  how great my spirituality is, or anything. I just would like to get a glimpse of  what the Father was doing. In Austin's analogy, he says sometimes Christians get into an on/off  modes of ministry. I felt like my  light was off today. I didn't  feel like I  had the living  Spirit of God. I walked around defeated in  my  discernment of  the atmosphere around me. I guess today was a day  I learned the verse of: If the world  hated you, it hated me first. ||John 15:18|| I'm ready to see John 15 take over my quiet time. Because I'm about to receive exceedingly great revelations, so God I'm asking for the thorn in my flesh to keep me humble.

Thank you Jesus.

...those he Justified, he also Glorified

 ⁴⁰ Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, ⁴¹ “What do you want me to do for you?”
   “Lord, I want to see,” he replied.
 ⁴² Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” ⁴³ Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

Our question as Christians should be What do you want me to do for you? This will lead to the answer of the person wanting vision. Vision spiritually and physically. Funny how the man gets his vision with faith, being sure of something that's unseen. God was glorified through this, and people followed Jesus.
Goes back to Lazarus when he said to Martha, "Didn't I tell you if you'd believe, you'd see the glory of God."
God has goodness for you because he loves you. So, walk in love, loving one another, and freely giving to one another.

Never put coffee grounds in cookies!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
Take this as your warning... it gives a whole other meaning to "bittersweet."
Absolutely deodorized the sweetness. AH! Biggest mistake of " خبيس  " ever!
LOL. that's all.

answer the call

i am so blessed to have jesus telling me what to do... i need to heed his voice more for sure, and obey more. but God is totally the alpha and omega of my life. that's it! he is SOOOO faithful to answer prayers, and even if we pray because we don't see fruit in our lives... at least we're praying for fruit! God, I thank you that you're teaching my hands to war. God, you are good. I'm glad you go before me in war! We know that you are victorious, Jesus. Thank you to my brother and sister in Christ Kevin and Amara~!

We will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the WORD of our testimony

LET THE REDEEMED OF THE LORD SAY SO! I am so blessed to be able to minister to amazing women of God. They're so awesome. My prayer is this that NOTHING shall come against them and stand. Because we're the ones that are supposed be standing after the battle is through. I am thankful for everyone in the college group. I feel like things are shifting big time. And it's for God's good and kingdom increase. God has opened up a new realm of himself in reviving us and freeing us. There has been walls broken down of fear, hate, self-doubt, etc. God has opened up new identities in us, since the old person is gone in us. I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me, the life I live in the body, I live by FAITH in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

day two: modification yes.

So, I'm modifying God's fast for me. I'm going to do sun up to sun down. So, I'll probably have a meal around 7pm. Most importantly, I want to find an ideal time to pray and really seek the face of the Lord. I just want him to hide me under his wing. I'm so very excited about this new vision. I am going under the vision of my church, ACTS Christian Fellowship. We have four core values: discipleship, evangelism, quiet time, and the table. This can all be found (with revelation and illumination) in our biblical mission verse: Acts 2:42. So I am very excited. The LORD has been so good to me and my family. I know he is already in the process of loving on them and drawing them closer to Him. I'm excited to see where this fast is going. Lord, I commit it unto you. Please don't let me strive for grace or abuse your grace. Let me be in the middle of your grace. Do not cast me away from your presence. Do not take your holy spirit from me! I am so excittteeeddd, cause  I KNOW it's only up from here!!! It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out... I WAnt to be like a king!!

So, so, so... we meet again.

So, to update this blog with 4 and 1/2 months of missing work would be mad. So, I will highlight the main events: my dad got a disease called MDS and myelofibrosis over the summer. That was pretty tough on the family, but it brought us closer together. In the midst of him getting out of the hospital, after being there for two weeks, we moved to a new house. So, that was also crazy. I stayed home and helped out with working the business some days and cleaning out the old house, while my dad started a relentless cycle of chemo and blood transfusions. Luckily, we found out last month that my uncle fit the HLA criteria for a bone marrow transfusion for my dad. It has been tough going back to college 1,000 miles away and living everything behind. Mind you, I really did think there was a stronger chance I would change down here. Don't get me wrong, I've met AMAZING friends and community, but I don't feel like I'm conquering life, I feel like I'm getting conquered by life. I've told Jesus many times that I don't feel like I have life and life to the fullest. I don't have perfect joy and peace, but I really desire it. Jesus has told me many things to do here on campus, like healing a professor that can't walk. But, of course, I have yet to obey. I found out this month that I'm moving into a new apartment in January with two of my close friends that I met last year. I can't stand it anymore in this place.
Side Note: ya, this place was found 2 weeks before I had to move-in//i went potluck on all three room mates, and it has just ended in a horrendous, bitter situation
Of course, you know the daily grind of life will wear me down. Therefore, I'm only taking 12 hours this semester. I'm also changing my major from Biochemistry to Environmental Health Science to incorporate a public health aspect into my pre-med studies. Also, I know I'm way more interested in that than anything else. I have a minor in Arabic and Religion. So, hopefully I can continually pursue that. I have to take 18 hours next semester. In the summer, I'll probably take Bio Stats and English.
I haven't been having quiet times for the past 2 weeks. Funny how time flies. Maybe that's why I'm writing this blog right now: to completely and utterly avoid having my quiet time. No, I'm not afraid of getting punished by God for not praying, but like I told Jesus I want the words I write and the prayers I pray line up with his will, word, and promises. I want perfect love to cast out all fear in me. I want to walk in my calling here and now. I pray that revival happens on campus, and people are just walking in Isaiah 4.
What else can I say?
I went to two weddings this October. My cousin's wedding and my friends here at the college ministry, REFUGE. The wedding were both beautiful, but very different. Mostly, because one had more money. Come on, please.. we are in college, what do you expect? =P
Speaking of weddings... I'M GETTING MARRIED!

haha joke, but i really wish.



ahhhh....there you see, my friends is time to escape writing this blog, and start seeking God, because I'm starting to feel that tug and that passion coming back into my heart. love love love.

A little something

Well, quite a remarkable way I've come. Thank you, Jesus! I want to be an example as you were an example, God. I want to move as you have moved God. Lord, you are the maker, mover, and story breaker. I want my story to break front page news. I want you to be the headline of my story, God, let my ministry be your ministry. Let us be one. Let the light of your glory infiltrate my life... listen to the cry of my heart... as I begin to find what your heart cries for....

Missions Trip to LA

http://antihumantraffickingla.blogspot.com

Finger of God (Film) part 10 of 10

Poetry of Mine

Discrete lies pretending to

Masquerade as the way the ocean lies:

Salty and sweet, but with the intent

To take you deeper into [[[[[monotonous]]]]]

Shame.

We act as if moments in time will

Wrap our heads around these small

Momentary afflictions of comfort

To know we can promise something;

As lies pour out of my mouth:

Salty and sweet

Tragic.

Ending to a girl that has yet to speak.

A poem for every girl that has felt ashamed to speak because of the powers of materialism and darkness that has taken her innocence//